Five kids. Homeschooled. Just those three words right there I can't imagine doing. Honestly thinking about having any more than two kids my palms start to sweat. Not. Going. To. Happen. So after I had my first daughter I finally understood why things were done a certain way when I was younger. It HAD to be a certain way because there were so many of us. Rules. I get it. I know why they are there. Being a kid saying I'll NEVER do that to my kid. Yeah. That's a big fat lie. You'll do it. You'll even hear the same words that came out of her mouth come out of yours. And worse. You'll understand why.
In understanding the why part added a new depth in my relationship with my own mom. I began to understand the love behind it all. I know all my mom wanted was the best for me. My mom and I used to leave each other notes on our pillows after fights. Being that there were so many other siblings there wasn't a ton of time to just sit and talk one on one. (Those times have come later) Looking back however I think those notes guided me throughout my kid and teenage years. For me it's always been easier to write my feelings and having my mom return the favor and allowing me to write them down instead of rushing through a talk helped me. (it's especially tough to articulate your thoughts rationally as a teenager) It gave me and her time to cool off when we needed it. It allowed us to say our views or apologize without any push back or interruption. It gave me a sense of security in knowing that my mom cared about me enough to sit down and write me a letter. It was uninterrupted time that I could sit and read what my mom wrote to me. I understand how much a moms love is now that I have my own daughters. I hope to continue this :tradition: with both my girls so that when they are grown they can feel and hold pieces of their childhood and teenage hood with them. Hopefully they can see how much their mother loves them and just wants the best for them in whatever they do. Just like my mom did for me. I love you mom and am so glad I have you as my mommy. Happy Mother's Day!
To all the Mom's out there hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day! Thanks for reading!